what a difference a year makes!

K has grown so much - I find it wild to look at the photos and videos from this time last year. january 2007 january 2008

i suppose

i should at least try to be excited about this, but i'm not. far from it. anyway, i have a phone interview next week. i've applied for a similar position to this company earlier this month and had a similar phone interview - nothing came of it and i expect nothing will come of this one. i'll still prepare and feign enthusiasm but after the last job interview debacle, i just don't have much left in me. at least it's over the phone and i don't have to go there only to have it fall through. they can tell me to piss off over the phone and avoid the face to face dismissal. on another note, the marketing director is having her baby now. ms. receptionist/customer service supervisor r decided to go around to everyone telling them that she's having a c-section, etc, etc, etc. now, i truly hope it goes well because it's a mom and baby - regardless of any personal feelings. but, those personal feelings do come into play. since director came on board (she's the founder's daughter didn't ya know!) all sorts of things have changed. she's taken over 1/2 of what i did before (ads, glossies for presentation binders, etc) and brought on the hr consultant - she's managed to just start rocking the boat every which way and of course it won't affect her because again - she's the founder's daughter. she doesn't talk to me, and in fact, i barely get a glimpse if we pass in the hallway, so i really don't care about when she goes into labor, etc. i care that it all goes smoothly, but that's as far as i'm going. now, onto ms. receptionist/customer service supervisor r - why does she feel that she has to go and "share" all the news. like it's hers to share?! she also said that "everybody" was asking. um, i wasn't asking and therefore don't feel that she needs to come over here telling me all this. i don't give a flying fuck! i swear, r has to be in everyone's business and has to tell everyone. the woman can't keep her damn nose out of things. that seems to be par for the course anymore, everyone has to know everyone else's business and god forbid if you don't divulge your deepest secrets because then you're labeled as troubled, anti-social or whatever. can you tell i've been through this and am still going through this. it's been better now that i sit on the other side of the building and don't have to be in the middle of it all, but even still - it creeps up on me. not that long ago, last summer-ish, killjoy (boss-lady b) wanted to know why i was so quiet and seemed distant and she said that "something must be wrong at home" implying that something was wrong between j and i. in my head i imagined that i was shoving her head against the door frame and then slamming the door in her face! i was fucking livid! first, it's not her place to butt in, even if it were the case - which it wasn't. even if it was, i woudn't be talking to her (or anyone here) about it. but the fact that she said it matter of factly - what the fuck?! ok, i'm getting really worked up so i'm going to cut this short. suffice it to say, it's like fucking small-town-urbia here. i wish i had studied harder when taking my C++ programming classes - then I could a)work in a more secluded place and b)work with guys who don't get involved in the nitty-gritty of their co-workers lives. at least not to the same degree as here.

new stuff

ok, so the new banner is up. it's a bit big and if i can find a way to make it smaller without screwing it up then i will. still working on the color scheme. it will change, but to what i don't know. anyway, that's how i'm spending my day thus far.

recovering

so k is recovering from being ill. it's still a slow process, but he's getting there. the main thing that's worrying us now is getting him to eat again. he still picks at things now and then but other than 3-4 bites here and there and 1/2 a cup of milk, the boy has practically stopped eating. i understand that lack of appetite can go hand in hand with ear infections, but he's been this way since last Saturday! i'm beginning to freak the eff out! so that's where we're at. oh, and i've been playing with my design a bit. i don't think i'll stick with the blue and brown, though. at first i liked it, but now it seems too baby-ish. so anyway, i'll be working through that as well.

by looking at him

you wouldn't know that K had a fever all weekend and that a double ear infection made it's presence known on sunday. considering all that, he did ok. even at the doctors office he mainly squirmed but didn't let out the earth-shattering screams like he used to. he even got weighed on the "big boy" scale standing up. for all of that, it brings a new type of heart wrenching to know that K is beginning to understand what pain is and has learned how to say "owie". when trying to eat breakfast he would cough, hold his head and start crying big tears. "owie" would be repeated over and over - and our hearts just sunk. sure, he's had boo-boos from falling or bumping into a door frame because he didn't look where he was going - but those just don't seem as gutting to us as it does with the fever, cough and infection. maybe it's because with the others we can see the owie and clean it up, put a band-aid on it, kiss it to feel better - that kind of thing. but with a fever, etc we can't physically see it - only what it's doing to little K. it's kind of like going full circle. we didn't know what would be wrong or upsetting K when he was an infant and couldn't ask him where it hurt, and that sucked because we felt helpless. now, the three of us can figure it out, usually after a game of 20 (40 or 60) questions. but even still, that feeling of helplessness came back around this weekend. K didn't start playing with his ear or crying when coughing until sunday. so anyway, here we are. on full alert should R at daycare call. hopefully the meds will kick in and K will be totally back to himself soon. he was well on his way when I dropped him off this morning and started chasing the cat and looking for cars to play with, which made it a bit easier.

much cooler than i

my husband is much cooler than i am. he has been offered a job making more $$$, the position is a corporate trainer mgr and he went on one interview. truly, i am VERY happy for him. he's been on countless interviews and has earned it. i can only hope one day i'll be just as lucky.

meme meme meme meme meme meme meme meme

because i'm trying to avoid analyzing what the eff happened with the job, i'm going to do this meme. niobe started it but the details are: 1. Click on THIS LINK. The title of the page is the name of your band. 2. Click on THIS LINK. The last four words of the final quotation on the page are the title of your album. 3. Click on THIS LINK. The third picture is your album cover. After all that, here we go:

onward, upward - albeit slowly

out of frustration/anger/disapointment - call it what you want - i called and asked to speak with the hr rep. she had gone for the day so i left a message. i was VERY professional about it but i did point out that i noticed the job re-posted online and since it seemed everything was moving in a positive direction, i was interested to know if there was something i missed, etc and could i have the opportunity to remedy it and remain in consideration for the job. i am still having a difficult time understanding why a company would go through all of that work (2 interviews, background checks, dr*g screen, calling references, etc) if they weren't interested in making an offer. seems a waste of time and effort to pursue that much stuff only to pass on the candidate. i haven't received a call back or an email - i don't expect to, really. i suppose if that's the way they handle things then i don't want to work there. i get jerked around enough here and still get my benefits/vacation & sick time/etc. if i get jerked around there i'd be without all of that. so anyway, onward. it still stings like hell to see that job posting at the top of the page but hopefully it will get buried toward the bottom after a couple of days. i'm still quite disappointed but it'll get better and i'll still keep looking - even though right now all i want to do is eat chocolate. hey, nothing soothes bitterness like sweetness! :-)

jerking my chain

prospective employer posted the job again online. i think the opportunity is gone and i'm stuck in this shithole for a while longer. let the binging begin. REVISED: i changed the title to this post because that's totally how i feel this whole thing went down. jerk my chain, make me jump through a dozen hoops to get to this interview and that interview...for what? for fucking nothing.

flashy > safe

in the brilliance of current employer, they've re-tiled the break room floors (after being trashed after 1.5 years), bought stainless steel HUGE refridgerator, stainless steel HUGE microwave and a leather couch for the breakroom. now this would seem f-ing great however, everything is going to get trashed again and it will become money lost. this company has office staff but the majority of the employees are field techs and phone monkeys who don't give a damn about taking care of their own stuff much-less anything else. how about spending the money on plowing the damn snow and ice from the parking lot! you know, showing the employees that you will provide a safe work environment both inside and outside the building. apparently that's asking too much because there is still ice from 4 storms ago (we're talking last december). so if we fall and twist an ankle, hey there will be a leather couch to sit on and nurse our wounds (while on the phone to a lawyer because falling on ice will be negligence on current employer and they will NEED the liability insurance because this shit is ridiculous)! ******************* still waiting on other opportunity. hoping against all hope that it goes in my favor. and did i mention they PLOW their parking lot?!

please don't tease me

prospective employer that i met with twice is calling references. i hope this works in my favor, i really, really, really, really, really DO! i hate to admit that i've gotten my hopes up for this one. if it goes to another person, i'll be binging on chocolate for the next few days - it can't be helped. this is as close as i've come to getting a new opportunity.

one thumb up

this morning went well. met with the company president and hr manager. i was generally asked the same general questions but i was able to make them sound a bit different so that i didn't sound like a recording. it was also nice, albeit it intimidating as well, to meet with the president. he interviews everyone who is hired. that's quite a change from so many places where you meet the president in passing on your first day and never see them again. anyway, i went to do the dr*g screen and j seems to think that there's a good chance i've got the job or am competing with 1 or 2 more people because they generally don't spend the money for the screens on every applicant. we'll see. for now, i've got one thumb up!

fun in the kitchen

HEY PEOPLE!

whatever you're doing (re: my job wishes), keep it up! monday morning, 2nd interview w/president of company! dude! DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, i'm off to finish picking lint off myself from earlier.

i'm so learn'ed

today during my lunch hour i decided to go pick up a new robe since it's sofa-king cold here. no biggy, found a blue fleece one without too much fuss. i decided to try it on over my suit to make sure it fit, etc. it's great so i take it off only to discover . . . . . . . . . . . blue fleece lint all over my suit! yes, everyone, i AM that smart! laugh amongst yourselves...i'm busy picking lint of myself. on a different topic, no news on the job front yet. i find that i daydream about the job from wednesday. it would be a great opportunity. really freaking great! i'd be working with executives who have a brain (!!!) instead of these sales reps who do their work at the last minute and back-ass-wards. i'm waiting with baited breath for my phone to ring and it to be them wanting to meet with me again and offer me the job. i'm trying to not get my hopes up too high, keeping in mind that the complete opposite of high is low and i'm liable to end up on the lowest rung of the ladder should the position go to someone else. i just wish they'd let me know one way of the other N.O.W. i hate this waiting and wondering shit.

"this is important...this means something"

i'm noticing that the sandwhich pieces are begining to resemble the mashed potato sculpture from close encounters.

apples & peanut butter chips

k likes apples! i could hardly believe what i was hearing when he asked for an apple. so that's a step in the right direction as far as fruits go. still no veggies. since we're heading in that direction, do peanut butter baking chips count as relatively healthy? :-) we were in the grocery store last weekend and they had some free samples of some brand of "trail mix" with faux m&ms, chocolate and peanut butter baking chips. i let k have one of the peanut butter chips and he went beserk over it! when that one was done he wanted another and another and another. i know it's not exactly the same as the real peanut butter but at this point, if it's even close to healthy and it opens up his food repertoire, i'm all for trying it.

library of congress photos - freakin' sweet!

being a novice photographer and burgeoning history buff, i'm always on the lookout for sites that showcase photos, especially historical ones. the "old" photos always manage to capture my attention because they seem like a foreign land; a foreign time that gets forgotten with each passing day. i was extremely excited/surprised to find the LIBRARY OF CONGRESS ON FLIKR! it's amazing to go through the photos and see past the CUTESY PICTURES to what was really going on in the world; how people actually lived. i think it's great and i know how i'm going to spend the rest of my work day......... . . . . . working of course! (snark)

wish

wish i may, wish i might have the wish i wish tonight: to get offered the job that i interviewed for today.

flashlight!

who knew flashlights could be so much fun (especially around the 56 second mark)!

if only

so we're still dealing with K and his hitting. i have of course turned to ol' reliable internet for some ideas, all of which we've been doing already. i guess it just takes time. lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of time. did you know that the "reason" for toddlers hitting is because: "he is curious about other people. He has limited language and experience, so rather than walking up to someone and saying, "Excuse me. Can I play with you?," he shows his interest by smacking them." i had to laugh a bit at "showing interest by smacking them". the visual was just too funny and reminded me of an eddie izzard (british comedian) skit. i doubt that k is showing interest by hitting me, though. if that were the case, i'd be the most popular person in the world! ha! if only that approach would work in the business world. i could show some employers i'm interested by going up and smacking them as though i were saying, "hey! i want to work for you." (WACK!) on that note, my resume appears to be working. last week i had a call back within 24 hours of submitting it and today i got a call back for a position that i applied for yesterday. i haven't gotten past the first interview, though, so that sucks. i'm preparing as well as i can and jotting down any new questions that come up so i'm prepared for them if they come up in the future. we'll see. my next appointment is tomorrow. i drove by the place this afternoon and it looks decent, up-to-date and they even PLOW THEIR PARKING LOT when it snows! if you don't recall why that's a big deal, read THIS

knock-knock

so, he may have a tantrum over thomas the tank or be super picky about what he'll eat - but at least he'll knock before storming in and raising a ruckus.

brilliant

about 1.5 years ago, company decided to do renovations in the building which included replacing 2 floors, 1 small mail room and 1 huge break room. starting next week, company is replacing the same 2 floors - again! if it were me and all i got out of the first renovation was 1.5 years of use - i'd be livid p*ssed! as for company, well, this just speaks volumes (insert extreme sarcasm here): BRILLIANT!

car - 1, me - 1

so i've managed to "win" this round versus car. techs checked it out and everything looks fine and is tight and undamaged. so apparently, i'm a nut job whose hearing things. it's ok, though. i'd rather be a nut job with a working car than completely sane with a broken one. i do wonder if someone is trying to tell me something. last year, in january as well, there was .THIS and then there was today's event. hmmmmm....... do i need to include gift cards to repair shops on my christmas lists from now on? just in case...i could always use them for oil changes and other regular maintenance stuff. anyway, i made it through without having to pay a dime. well under $100 indeed! i did decide to get the techs a gift card to major pizza place, though. that may sound like too much, but here's the thing. i've managed to find a shop that doesn't try and put one over on me because i'm a woman and i don't know jack about cars other than how to change a tire (and even that's a bit iffy). i've gone there for oil changes and misc other things like replacing belts, brakes, etc. when i had my battery replaced they had an opening at 1 PM and when i gave them my name they guy knew who i was and said they could fit me in at 11 AM. see, they know me and i know them. there's been a couple other times that they've checked things out on my car and found nothing wrong and i didn't have to pay then either. i'm thinking about remaining anonymous about it. maybe dropping vague hints about who sent them the card and if they put it together then great; if not, no big deal either. i figure it's time i should give something back and i honestly don't feel like i need anything for it - well, other than having nothing wrong with my car.

gah!!!!!

i loathe car woes! L.O.A.T.H.E them! weird sounds are afoot in/around/underneath/next-to/who-the-hell-knows-where with my car and they chose today to come out and play (rat bastards). i have an appt this morning and i pray to god/allah/jehovah/mary/pick-your-diety that it's something small and well UNDER $100 to fix. actually, if i had my way, there'd be nothing to fix and they'd just find some rogue rock that found it's way into some crevice and all the tech would have to do is work it out. so anyway, happy f-in friday, people......happy f-in friday......

"circle"

my toe's in the wading pool

i've sent out some resumes over the past week and had a phone interview today over lunch. i think it went ok. ok enough that i should get a call back for a face-to-face interview...well,hopefully. it's quite nerve racking to go through this whole "new opportunity" process. i've gone through feeling hopeful, anxious, uncertain, and rejected with each resume I send out. i'm preparing, though. writing down the common questions and what my answers will be. that is helping, a bit. so anyway, that's where i'm at right now.

i'll see your 2-word sentences and raise you 1-babelfish

even though i have become k's desired slapping companion, i do miss him today. well, i miss him every day that i'm at work but something's got to pay the bills. anyway, i've just been blown away by how much more we understand when he's talking to us. he has become very adept at two and three word sentences and will often repeat a new word over and over until he gets distracted by something new, usually a toy car. i'm grateful for the times when i know what he's trying to say and can respond back to him with an answer. it sure beats the "really?" and "um, hm" answers and nods when i can't quite make out what he's going for. i wonder if anyone else can understand him? i've always been amazed at how parents know what their toddler wants when all i hear is "sooo clkg, klkhshoi, andklk," seriously. clicks and whistles, man, clicks and whistles. LOL. i've found, though, that i still heavily rely on context. just the other morning he was fussing for "foo" and standing in the kitchen. somehow in the early, before-the-crack-of-dawn stupor that i was in, i managed to put the two together and figured out that he was hungry. i can't wait until everything he says is much more audible. then my brain won't have to work so hard. especially first thing in the morning.

never would've guessed

ahh, look at this pic: we were so young, in love . . . . . . . . . . . . and naive. no, i don't think we could've anticpated that i would've pelted him with a gummy-worm that'd been taken away from a certain young boy who spend his afternoon hitting me over and over and spent numerous time outs staring at a corner. it really wasn't intentional, j just happened to be in the trajectory of said flying object and i was really frustrated at being k's preferred choice of hitting companion instead of j or anyone/anything else. plus, the whole repeating myself that "we don't hit people" is getting really old. i've tried to be creative about hitting causing boo-boos, owies, it's mean.......i don't know how else to get it across. hence the gummy worm attack. i'm certain we wouldn't have foreseen whisking said boy out of major-chain bookstore once he started screaming AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS because he had to leave the 18 thomas the tank train cars behind, which in turn fostered a crowd of looky-loo's who felt they could pass judgement with their eyes because,of course, they could've handled it so much better. fat chance of that, i'm sure, because none of them had kids anywhere near them, which means they have no f-ing clue and would be just as frustrated as we were. and seriously, there isn't anything else we could've done but leave the place, so i think we handled it just fine thank you very much! anyway, i digress. our weekend wasn't terrible. we're just in the throws of a young boy who is really coming into his own and while we can figure out most of what he wants, we still have to get on the same page as far as timing. he is, indeed, a force of nature.

his mother's son

if there is ever any doubt that k is my son, this will resolve any question about it: yup, my boy is just like me - everything has it's place.

back in the swing of things

so the past few days back at work have only mostly sucked. ehh, it's a job so... k has been learning new words lightening fast - moon, sinkee (stinky), mik (milk) are just a few that've come up. sometimes he says a word over and over all day and then as fast as he learned it, he "forgets" it. from what i've read, that's pretty normal. i just wonder where he's putting all these new words and when should i expect a full on verbal assault when he decides to use them all at once. other than that, we're just taking it one day at a time. i wish i had something amazing to share but for now all i can offer is this: (i'm wondering how this could possibly be comfortable?!)

happy new year!

we will be watching THIS today and generally doing a lot of nothing. well, i'm finishing up some projects around the house and getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. it's been a good holiday. never long enough, but i'm not going to tempt any higher powers because although i'm not thrilled with my job, i have a job. i wish i could've had something lined up so that i could go back and tell killjoy "see ya" but that's not how it worked out so i deal with it and keep looking for alternatives. anyway, i've wanted to have the time off between christmas and new years for a very long time and it was nice to finally be able to do it. if i can do it again next year, i will! in the meantime, i've resolved to having a new "center piece" for our coffee table: hope everyone had good holidays!