by looking at him

you wouldn't know that K had a fever all weekend and that a double ear infection made it's presence known on sunday. considering all that, he did ok. even at the doctors office he mainly squirmed but didn't let out the earth-shattering screams like he used to. he even got weighed on the "big boy" scale standing up. for all of that, it brings a new type of heart wrenching to know that K is beginning to understand what pain is and has learned how to say "owie". when trying to eat breakfast he would cough, hold his head and start crying big tears. "owie" would be repeated over and over - and our hearts just sunk. sure, he's had boo-boos from falling or bumping into a door frame because he didn't look where he was going - but those just don't seem as gutting to us as it does with the fever, cough and infection. maybe it's because with the others we can see the owie and clean it up, put a band-aid on it, kiss it to feel better - that kind of thing. but with a fever, etc we can't physically see it - only what it's doing to little K. it's kind of like going full circle. we didn't know what would be wrong or upsetting K when he was an infant and couldn't ask him where it hurt, and that sucked because we felt helpless. now, the three of us can figure it out, usually after a game of 20 (40 or 60) questions. but even still, that feeling of helplessness came back around this weekend. K didn't start playing with his ear or crying when coughing until sunday. so anyway, here we are. on full alert should R at daycare call. hopefully the meds will kick in and K will be totally back to himself soon. he was well on his way when I dropped him off this morning and started chasing the cat and looking for cars to play with, which made it a bit easier.